My Prevaricating Truth
by ColdFlamesBurnFaster
Summary: Ever wanted the truth to be a lie? That somehow, someway, all that you felt and knew was prevaricated of what your true love is doing to you? Well that is what Tifa feels about Cloud. And that’s what I’m expressing in this poem. R&R pls


**M**y _Pre_**va**ri**cating** _Truth_

_Written By_: _**CryLain**_

_Summary_: Ever wanted the truth to be a lie? That somehow, someway, all that you felt and knew was prevaricate of what your true love is doing to you? Well that is what Tifa feels about Cloud. And that's what I'm expressing in this poem.

_Disclaimer_: I do not own final fantasy VII. Nothing belongs to me.

_Author's Note_: This is a poem I wrote basing off of Tifa's uncontrollable love she has for Cloud and how she knows the truth of how horrible he treats her but she denies that fact of the matter and wants it to be a lie, or something that must be wrong. That is why this poem is called, "My Prevaricating Truth"

* * *

I _know_ I'm meant for something **more**

But only the **r**a**r**e find their true love,

While the **r**e**s**t get left with what will **never** be theirs

I'm one of the rest, that cannot discard my heart

Because my heart is treacherous, leading me to your **bro**_ken_ essence

Forgive me, if I **never** get over you

**My Prevaricating Truth**

Your vacant heart, I crave so **badly**

It's something I _want_, I may never have

My **t**h**o**u**g**h**t**s of you _always_ turned to **ashes**

Leaving me with nothing but frailty

**Fazed**. Left forgotten by your love

Love me _twice_, and I'll die **once**

I'm **s**ha_tt_er**e**_d_. **Hurt**. _Broken_ because of you!

**My Prevaricating Truth**

Maybe **some**day, one day _soon_

You'll realize that I was _always_ there

Sitting in the **darkest** corner, watching **all** fall _down_

And I tried **so** many times to save you from your **n**i_gh_tmar_ish_ **hell**

That when it came to _me_, I lost myself

Forgive me, if I. For once. Don't save you

**My Prevaricating Truth**

I gave **all** and so much more

And what for? Just for you to not **n**o**ti**_ce_

But I still love you Cloud

Even though I **hate** you as well

My anger of what you have done to my heart

Is _there_, yet hiding beneath despair

I'm _for_**got**_ten_. Dismantled. _Forsaken_ by your presence

**My Prevaricating Truth**

You **raped** me of my heart

Now that's something that'll _always_ be yours

Every **g**a**z**e, every _look_

You **abuse** me with your dormant eyes

Those eyes I try **so hard** to see through

But I never can, will I ever have the **chance**?

I'm the dream that when you awake you _forget_

**My Prevaricating Truth**

Forgive me, for loving you _more_ then myself

You're a _love_. **T**h**o**u**g**h**t**. Feeling. That I **can't **conceal

Oh Cloud, I never had the chance _did_ I?

Because I'm a love you deny

You only see me as **sister**. Friend. _Com_rade _**don't**_ you?

**My Prevaricating Truth**

You loved me once Cloud. Only **once**

And oh how I wish I _cherished_ your love so much **more **then

But that is a _wish_, a wish that will never transcend

Will you **even** care if I cut deeper this time?

_Past_ the vein, **past** the cry's

Because my tears to you are **un**seen, _make_-believe

**My Prevaricating Truth**

I **envy** her. The one whom _stole_ your **p**r_e_c**i**o_u_s heart from me

Though she is _dead_ now, **dead** as can be

She _still_ lives on in your dreams and memories

I know the _feeling_ Cloud

The **feelings** you have for her, I have for you

And **damned**, how messed and twisted up that is

How I wish I could change the **p**re**se**nt

**My Prevaricating Truth**

All I ever _wanted_, was you Cloud

But you **don't** want me, you want her instead

I'm a thought that's meant to **b**_rea_**k**, I know now

Still smells the _flower_ he loves, even though it's **dead**

For you, it's _har_**der** to realize

Because you **never** look around to see what's bona fide

Oh _Cloud_, you let go a _long_ time ago

And sank into **re**mo**rs**e

Abandoning me with **nothing** to hold

But don't worry my love,

I'm used to it now. **Com**fort_ably_ numb

Numb to it **all**, numb to _you!_

That's my pre**va**ri**cating** truth…..

* * *

**The Meaning of the Words I Used**

**Treacherous**: deceitful, untrustworthy, false.

**Essence**: heart, figure, spirit.

**Frailty**: infirmity, weakness.

**Fazed**: Upset, disturbed.

**Nightmarish**: frightening, lurid.

**Despair**: hopelessness, misery.

**Dismantled**: taken apart.

**Forsaken**: abandoned, isolated.

**Dormant**: hidden, quiet.

**Conceal**: hide, cover up.

**Transcend**: go beyond, exceed.

**Prevaricate**: evade, lie

* * *

_Alright, I hope I didn't vent off too much. Because I know this poem is long. But a good long poem although. Well I hope you enjoyed it. Please review if you feel like it. After all, this is my first posting on fanfiction and it would mean a lot to me if I got reviews. Thanks again for reading._

_**CryLain**_


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